– presents –
You’re on your way to the world’s largest strip club. Yes, you heard us right. The WORLD’S LARGEST STRIP CLUB. We cannot confirm or deny that means they have the world’s largest pair of titties, but you’ll soon find out (perhaps they do if we’re talking metric weight). This means the outside is going to be massive.
Now, as you well know, strip clubs, well, they aren’t exactly known for having the best outside lighting. Especially the clubs off the Las Vegas strip. Typically you don’t walk into a club and think how the skylight really lets in the afternoon sun. This means you have a very, very, large building with no visible windows. On the surface this might seem to feel a bit odd, but in actuality, the exterior design of the club is done very well. The texturalled brick facade helps break up that otherwise barren walls. Tall, long, concrete walls would normally give a building of this size a factory, or even prison look, but thanks to this textural element as well as nice landscaping, it does have an inviting look.
Of course, you could probably care less about the exterior wall texture as you’re more concerned about nipple texture against your skin, but hey, we just want to give you a complete picture of what’s going on here. There is nice, cool (toned) LED lighting that is soothing and inviting, and the overhang above the drop-off point is very well lit.
There is a bit of an 80s cocaine kingpin vibe going on with the exterior though. There are works of art throughout the grounds and on your way up to the front door, offset by massive video displays of the upcoming titty and stripper events. It kind of feels like there’s one foot in trying to be legitimate high class, and the other foot in stripper class. It’s, well, not exactly the easiest line to straggle, and it kind of feels like they should lean completely into one or the other. Personally, in our opinion, they should go full high-end art. You’re already at Sapphire Las Vegas. You’re not going to just turn around and have your cab take you somewhere else. The nightly showcase signs aren’t bringing in any business. The Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club is already going to be one of the classiest strip club destinations you end up at, there’s no need to get all confusing on the exterior. It sends unnecessary mixed singles.
At least most of those mixed signals disappear once you step inside.
Oh, one more thing. There’s a Fatburger at the end of the entrance. Yeah, THAT Fatburger. You can order the food and have it delivered to you while you’re inside of the strip club. Sure, you’ll pay the standard strip club mark up, but there are times where you just want to devour a burger, and don’t really want to experiment with the stripper food. So, you know, if you want to get your greasy hands on a greasy burger before hiring yourself a lap dance, here you go.
No guest list is needed to see inside this place. The interior is all about purple and blue LED lighting. It’s, well sometimes it is a bit much, but hey, that’s what they went with. When you walk in there is kind of this walkway transition from the outside to the interior. It does help break up that space between the outside world and the inside world of a strip club, which most places do with a curtain or a bend in a walkway. Along the way you’ll pass various odd statues and trees which you can’t tell if they are real or fake.
Once you’re on the main floor of the strip club you’re going to find Sapphire looks, in some ways, like any other strip club, just on steroids. It’s legit jacked to the max. You have the main dancing stage, but on the stage there is a platform that strippers can work up if they want to give a sky-high performance. It’s a pretty cool effect, and yet, honestly, it does take away some of the benefits of sitting at the stage. Sometimes you want to sit right at the stage because you’re hoping for a face full of pussy or some perfectly sculpted tits sandwiching your face. Kind of lose that when the stripper is up on the catwalk. Cirque de Sole is on the other side of town.
There is all kinds of seating though. You have your regular seating around the stage, your traditional tables with four chairs, there’s even skybox seating around the main stage. If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a high roller, it’s sitting in a skybox at a strip club. It’s like you’re some kind of mafia boss taking in the night’s entertainment, and yet you, on a personal level, are above it all.
There are curtains around the main floor that help partition off the club. During the day and during slow nights the curtains are closed to keep everyone pretty much contained in the main stage area. However, on busy nights the curtains open up to bring in a second stage and additional seating. On one hand it ensures there’s always additional room, and yet on the other, it ensures the club is always feeling busy, so if you’re looking for a time when the club just doesn’t “feel” busy, you’re probably not going to find it.
The theme itself is kind of Vegas dance club meets underwater vibes. The only reason we say underwater vibes is because the club seems to have ann affinity for deep blue and purple LED lighting. It’s always interesting when clubs go this route. Red typically increases the heart rate and turns on your various senses (it’s why most restaurants use red in their exterior advertising and in their logos, as red induces hunger. Think about it. How many fast food joints use red. Like all of them). And yet, blue is usually a soothing color. It makes you feel cold. Like you want to leave. Again, sticking with the restaurant vibe, most fast food restaurants back in the day used soft whites, blues, and grays in the interior decor. Why? It made you feel cold so you would leave faster. Interior decor has changed in years, but back through the 90s, restaurants were very straight forward with their color usage. Warm on the outside, cold on the inside.
Why are you looking at us like that? Hey, just because we like a nice pair of tits doesn’t mean we don’t understand color theory as well. It’s also why sometimes all the blue can feel a bit odd in this club, but hey, it’s their theme, and they are one of the most popular clubs in the world, so it must be working. And while, yeah, sapphire stones are blue, it isn’t always necessary to make someone feel like they are physically inside a cold stone while in a club.
The main floor has…generally…a nice flow. That is until you get to the main bar. Too many strip clubs turn getting a drink into a massive cluster fuck, and we’re here to tell you the same is true with Sapphire. Generally, we like to get, at the very least, our first drink directly from the bar. It lets us get the lay of the land before selecting a seat. Sometimes we’ll get our subsequent drinks from the bar as well. On busy nights it can be difficult to flag a waitress as they are often running all over the place taking drink orders. And yet, everything bottlenecks right at the bar. The wait staff is moving about, people are trying to get drinks, and strippers are trying to land a dance. It’s a bit of a mess.
So, either be prepared to deal with that, or grab a seat and flag a waitress as quickly as you can. It’s also easier to avoid some of the stripper bombardment right here. Unless you’re looking to get swooped right out of the gate.
Another issue with this setup is the lighting. Yes, yes, we went over the reds and blues and all that already, but this is different. Most strip clubs shy away from direct, harsh lighting. They use soft lights, or more specifically, black lights to help things glow, and some general backlighting. It really helps showcase the curves of a woman and it lets you get her essence. The lighting around the bars and other major bottleneck areas though can be direct, and bright. This means you’re seeing all the glue around the fake eyelashes, the wrinkles of the faces, a different line for every year they have worked at the clubs (sometimes it feels like strippers are like trees. A new wrinkle for every year in the club life). Not to mention the scars under their tits or injection points around the ass.
You’re in a strip club, you know there’s plastic going on. And yet you also want an illusion. Being in these areas is like seeing the mirror or strings of a magic trick. It’s like seeing the stormtrooper bang his head on the blast door in A New Hope. It takes you out of it. It’s another reason why you might want to either try your best to get a drink at the bar and then find a seat, or catch the attention of a waitress as quickly as possible. Much like the outside, it seems like someone who doesn’t exactly have the precise eye for design, or, more specifically, understands lighting and the human skin, is in charge of this. But, you’ve already paid big bucks to get into the club, so, yeah, you’re not leaving because the lighting is off.
Upstairs is basically the skyboxes and the VIP rooms. These are, well, expensive. Like very expensive. Not in, “well, we’re in Las Vegas” expensive, but “Jesus Christ, how much did they say it was going to be?” expensive.
Let us explain. First of all, like we said in the previous section, you’re already paying big bucks to get in. You are. Depending on the day day of the week, you’re dropping between $50 and $100 on the cover. Yeah. The cover charge. If there’s a fight going on or a special event? Minimum $150. That’s just to get into the door. Hell, even a single, three minute lap dance, is going to run you $40 at your table. Yeah, you don’t even go to a different area of the club or have a semi-private couch. It’s right on your table. You get a little price break if you buy three dances, as it’ll only cost you $100. But still, we don’t like dances at our chairs. They aren’t really great for a lap dance, and you have everyone around you.
Want to go upstairs to VIP? Well first, there’s the VIP “area,” and by area, we mean it’s more like the regular non-VIP setup in any other strip club. It’s couches with lots of other couches with other dances going on. And for this it’s $300 for 15 minutes, not to mention you have to pay a house fee. Want 30 minutes? It’s $600 plus $185 in house fees. That means in 30 minutes of being at the club you could drop $100 to get in plus $785 for the VIP dance. $885. For 30 minutes. For a not-private dance. Honestly, just save the money and get an escort and a private strip show.
But wait, there’s more! If you want to spring for the Skyboxes, which yes, do give you more privacy, but it’s $1500 per hour (you do get $500 per drink credit, but at $200 for a bottle of champagne that will run out fast). This is some serious, serious cash to toss around. If it was the only game in town for strip clubs and a topless lap dance we’d get it, but there are plenty of other options. And, well, we’re not going to tell you how to spend your bachelor party or birthday party, but if you can read between the lines, you probably are picking up what we’re throwing down (aside from the shit ton of cash it costs to go to Sapphire).
Remember when you were walking along that entry hallway into the club itself? Well, you passed a few open spaces along the way. Several of these open spaces are showrooms designed for VIP events. These VIP areas are cut off from the main club so that people who want to go to the strip club can, and people who want to take in the special events can do this as well. The showroom is designed for viewing events like the Superbowl, boxing matches, UFC fights, or other special activities.
Here’s the thing about these event rooms. Even if you’re not going to the specific room, if you are entering the club when a special event is going, you’re going to drop at least $150 to get in the door (this covers nothing else but to walk through the door). It can be a nice setup, but, if we’re being honest, there are all kinds of places around Vegas to see a live sporting event. We will give them props for having a dedicated space though, so that is nice, just keep this in mind that it will cost you to get in.
Now let’s go over the very specific VIP Party packages available at Sapphire. We won’t give our personal thoughts. We’ll let you decide if it’s a good deal or not. And, keep in mind, these VIP Party packages are in addition to the cover price.
The VIP100 gives you a $100 drink credit (can’t be shared), and it lets you skip to the front of the line. There is the $500 Birthday Package, which can be used for up to five people. With it you get a premium bottle with mixers and Red Bull, plus no cover charge. The $500 Vegas Divorce Party for up to five guests is exactly the same as the birthday party. The $500 Las Vegas Business Retreat for up to five guests, again, is exactly the same. There is a $225 Couples Drink Card Package which gives you and a special someone $225 in beverage and food credits. The $275 Sin City Couples Drink Package is similar, but it is $275 in all drink credits. The $275 Sapphire Champagne for 2 credit gives you a single bottle of champagne, but hey, no cover charge. The $500 Sapphire on the Rocks package gives you a bottle of Jack Daniels or Crown Royal and complimentary transport to the club. The $995 Some Like it Neat package gives you a bottle of 18-year Dewar’s Signature or Buchanan’s 18. And the $500 Scotch++ package gives you a premium bottle with mixers, plus access to the billiards room.
Lastly, there is the 10K Rockstar Birthday Blowout. It costs $10,000, is for up to 15 people, gives you access to the exclusive Rockstar lounge, a 3-liter bottle of champagne, 2 premium bottles with mixers and Red Bull, $2K entertainment voucher with a money canon, a round of party shots, 15 GA tickets to the Sapphire Big Game Sunday, promotions for your birthday on 12 large billboards around Vegas (great for embarrassing the birthday person), a DJ shoutout and cake presentation.
The big clubs in Vegas basically pay fast pace, heavy beat music. The songs are also short (which means that $40 you dropped on a dance will be over before you have the nerve to even try to run your hand along her legs or back). In general, you’re going to get your dubstep and REM kind of music. From time to time there might be some hip-hop, but in general, the songs are designed to be loud, heavy bass, and to get in and get out as quickly as possible. Shorter songs mean more dances, more dances mean more money for the strippers, and that means more money for the house (in case that $100 spot isn’t enough). So don’t expect to roll in and hear Prince or Modest Mouse or whatever it is you want to hear. Personally we would love a strip club that used a juke box of visitor-funded tracks. Nothing like a 17-minute Grateful Dead lap dance. But, it is what it is, and this is the kind of music a stripper will be rubbing on you too.
There’s a nice liquor selection at Sapphire. So if there is a specialty cocktail you are going to be able to get it. Once again, if there is a very specific scotch, outside of Johnnie Walker, you’re probably not going to find it, but you can always ask. Just know you’re going to pay that Sapphire premium.
How much is the premium? Well a basic bottle of water is $13. And you thought Disney World was ripping you off. Basically you should expect to pay at least a minimum of $20 for a well drink. A Budweiser draft is going to cost you at least $14. We’d suggest just getting a rum and Coke or a gin and tonic. Anything basic from the well.
Now, normally, the day shift at the strip club is something to be, well, not be seen in broad daylight. As Daryl told Dwight on The Office, “that’s something you can’t unsee.” In Vegas that’s a little different, and at the Sapphire Pool & Dayclub that is the exact opposite. In fact, at this pool day club, we might wager you’ll have a better time at the pool party than at the strip club. The Sapphire pool party brings with it some nice fun. And of course, it is a topless pool party in Las Vegas, with performers, and girls who decide to come are more than welcome to whip their money makers out.
The Sapphire cover charge is not as hefty with this either. Sure, you miss out a bit on the full nude strip club, but the bikini bottoms are already skimpy, so you’re not missing THAT much.
There are different packages you should opt for, if you want a seat (otherwise you’ll be stuck wadding in a packed pool for the entire time). As of April, 2023, the main deck lounge chair runs $122, with a $100 food and beverage credit ($22 for the chair isn’t a bad deal, to be honest). And then there is the VIP deck lounge chair for $183, which comes with $150 for food and beverages. The pool party lasts from 12 PM until 6 PM.
The waitresses are great and sexy, as are the girls working at the bar. However, there isn’t as many bombshell girls working around the club as you might believe. And with the kind of price you’re dropping to get in, they should be all dimes (or near dimes). In general though, the overall quality of the service is fine. It’s on par with other strip clubs in the area.
The venue itself is great. It’s large, there are plenty of additional showrooms, the skyboxes are neat, and the stage itself is interesting as well. It’s just, well you are paying all kinds of cash just to have the experience of entering the largest strip club in the world. When paying $100 a pop to get in you should expect a little more. We don’t like that the regular dances are right at your little table, and the VIP dances are at very open couches (not to mention are pricey). It very much is a money pit, and yet you likely won’t spend lots of cash simply because much of it is overly expensive. Even after an extreme divorce party and lots of drinks, you’ll know certain things are too pricey, and when you’re able to be drink and realize things are costing too much, well, that’s an issue.
We will give props to the pool party. It’s nice. And for the price of reserving a chair it’s not a bad deal. Always reserve a chair, no matter where you go for a pool party, because you’ll want to sit down. And you get most of this money back in the form of alcohol and food credits (even if a well drink is running you $20). So, well, if you want to experience Sapphire, just know it’ll cost you. Also note that you’ll probably get a better bang for your buck elsewhere.