– presents –
A lot of strip clubs come and go in Las Vegas, but the one tried and true destination is Palomino. If you walk past it (probably not recommended), drive past it, or just Google it, the outside doesn’t look like much. It doesn’t have all the external flash and pomp like the big names that have come since Palomino’s founding back in 69 (1969, that is. We just like squeezing 69 into conversations whenever possible).
But what’s the big deal, besides it being old? The big deal is this is the only totally nude strip club in the entire city. Yup. No other place inside of Vegas allows it. Not even the new brands with all the glitz and glam. Why? Because the Palomino Strip Club opened before new legislation passed in the city that prevented full nudity when alcohol was served. It’s the classic grandfather clause. It’s why that dive bar where you’re from has zero windows, no fire escape, and is a complete death trap if anything wrong should happen. The restaurant opened before updated fire safety standards. Palomino Club Las Vegas just happened to open up before alcohol and nudity regulations became stricter.
We pretty much gave you the two quick facts you need to know. The club opened in, say it with us, 69, and it is fully nude. You won’t get nude dancers anywhere else in the city.
Now, with that said, there are some downsides to the club. It’s a hell of a hike from the strip. It’s even further north than downtown Vegas. So if you are craving totally naked strippers you’re going to need to drive.
Also, while fully nude is great, there are a lot of professional strippers who would rather not let their who-has hang out and feel the draft, which means many of the top-tier strippers won’t work here. These girls at the other clubs can use the clothing to their advantage and possibly offer a show in private for some extra cash.
We’re not saying the nude dancers here are going to give you a poor lap dance or that a bachelor or bachelorette party ending up at Palomino will be inferior. We’re just saying the ultimate eye candy will probably be at one of the newer clubs. So keep that in mind.
Oh, the exterior. It’s very common in Sin City. It’s like the owners couldn’t decide if they wanted to go with an oil change or 24-hour cheesesteak esthetic. So instead they combined the two and opened a strip club (oil change and roast beef might not be too far off from a 60s strip club either).
Okay, jokes aside, the exterior isn’t terrible. It just doesn’t scream “Vegas.” It kind of looks like a strip club in any other city you’ve been to. The glowing red awning also, at least to us, has a very “comedy club” vibe to it as well.
While the outside of the building doesn’t look like much, the parking lot is well lit and the pavement is solid. That’s really all you can ask for when it comes to a strip club parking lot. In order to park you’ll pull past a security guard booth with security cameras running. Sometimes there’s a guard working, other times there isn’t, but everything is on camera and everything is brightly exposed, which is always a good thing when dealing with pockets full of singles.
Continuing with the 24-hour cheesesteak theme, when you approach the front door the red awning proclaims “world famous” and the lettering of the sign very much feels like you’re going to be greeted by an elderly Italian man yelling over the counter as he’s fist deep in meat, sweating over a grill.
While you might run into old men, you will pay your cover charge when walking through the front door, and you’ll work your way through a metal detector. As long as there are no special events going on you will likely receive a drink ticket or two with your cover ($40), which isn’t bad.
You can ask to be given a tour if the club isn’t busy, but if there’s a line waiting to get in please let the hostess do her job and give yourself the tour. It isn’t that complicated. It is a strip club, after all. Unless it’s your first time you’ll figure it out pretty quickly (and, like any other Las Vegas strip club, if you spring for a private dance, your girl will give you the tour as she takes you to the VIP area).
You’re going to get your Anytown USA strip club vibe once inside. There is one dance floor with a handful of chairs around it. You’ll have a few televisions spread around the club as well, so if there is a game on it’ll be playing (or you can always ask if there is a particular game you want to watch).
The club is dark with neons offering the majority of the illumination. You’re not going to find the high end LED lights like you’ll find at the other clubs. Here the lighting gives off your standard strip club vibe, while also making it difficult to see just how old your stripper is. Hey, sometimes you don’t want to know. And you also don’t want to be able to see stains on the carpeting and seating, so this kind of lighting works just fine. Heck, if we could get blemish-free lighting in our bathroom back home we might spring for it as well.
There are some nice features and services offered by the strippers at Palomino. They have the classic Formula 1 experience, which we like, and all of the girls we have interacted with are friendly, all with their own personalities. For us the personality is almost as important as the looks.
Almost.
We say that because at other clubs you can find total dimes with penny personalities but, when they are a 10, it doesn’t even matter. Nobody is taking them home, and nobody is telling their parents about the girls, so in those instances the personality has no impact.
At Palomino you probably aren’t going to find those dime pieces. The girls are good. They would be top-tier at your neighborhood strip club, but in Vegas there’s just so many amazing girls to choose from they fall by the wayside. Many of the girls work here though because they don’t have to be on the 24/7 hustle like other strippers at other clubs.
You’ll have a good time with the girls here, but they don’t have all the same looks. The girls, because they allow the full nude services, will get down to it rather quickly with their private dances, which means you can burn through your dance excitement with a girl quickly (at least quicker than the topless clubs).
That can be a good thing if you’re looking to save a few bucks. So, just take it as you will.
Probably one of the better music selections, which is a nice thing. We’re not saying we want to be singing Sweet Caroline or anything like that (god, is there a more overplayed song?), but sometimes it’s nice to actually know the words. Most clubs you go to it’s just a 2-minute bass bomb with laser shows threatening to blind you if you look in the wrong direction.
Here you’re not going to get that standard house or EDM music, which for us is a nice relief. Just spittin tunes which for us is a solid way to go. It’s one of the biggest perks to the club (besides the fully nude thing, of course).
There’s an upstairs area with a fully stocked bar where they serve alcohol. Usually the tables are reserved, but go check them out. It’s also a great spot to grab a drink as it isn’t as busy. We heard some people complaining about walking up stairs and wondering how they bypassed accessibility requirements. Like, dude, it’s a strip club GRANDFATHERED into being fully nude. How do you think they got passed accessibility requirements?
But yeah, you’ll need to take the stairs. It’s more dated up there than the rest of the club, but it’s a good spot for some conversation, and to chat up the bartender.
Thank god you actually get to go to a private area for your lap dance. We personally hate table lap dances. Who wants a dance in the middle of a busy room? Here you’ll go back into a private dance area that is fully enclosed with a curtain.
The VIP rooms have a bit more privacy than the private dance area, but that’s about it. The bedrooms (yes, bedrooms) have actual beds in them with ceiling mirrors. We wish more spots did this. The pole room is basically a bachelor party room, which is a private room for about 10 people. If you want the room you’ll need to drop $200 on drinks and $1000 on two hours.
VIP Dance Prices: VIP Room Rates, Upstairs Mens Room
Private dances are: $150 for 15 minutes, $250 for 30, and $500 for an hour. A single lap dance song runs $40. You’re kind of paying a fully nude premium
The upstairs rooms, no matter the room, costs $500 (for an hour), and you have to pay $200 for booze.
The upstairs men’s room doesn’t have a bathroom attendant (thank god), just watch your step. It’s one of those old building quirks, but you could legit face plant (we saw someone do it) if you’re not careful.
$40 cover, you get 2 drinks.
Beers – $8-$10
Red Bulls – $10
Cocktails: $14+
Bottle Service: $500+
Dances cost $40 a song, or 3 for $100
$150 for 15 minutes, $250 for 30, $500 for an hour
VIP private rooms are $500 an hour (plus $200+ for drinks)
Pole Room is $500 an hour (two hour minimum, +$200 for drinks)
Premium bottles are $500 a bottle, max 5 people (most premium bottles are tequila and vodka)
All-Inclusive package of $4970 includes
-Up to 30 people
-10 bottles (or 50 bottles of beer)
-Mixers
-Room and stage access
We wouldn’t go for the booze packages. They are pricey, and the girls aren’t as stacked as the girls in other clubs, so this is more of a test the waters, see how it goes kind of club. Experience it, check it off your list, then go somewhere else.
It’s a fine, even fun, club. It is quirky, which we like, and it doesn’t have all the fake elements of other clubs. With that said, this is Vegas, and you want fake, over the top. This is a good hometown strip club, but not a good Vegas club. It’s fun, fully nude is fine, but for the price you’re paying we think it’s better to go somewhere else.